Phobias

I never close my eyes in public. Never. Ever. Close. My. Eyes. In. Public. Not in church during prayer. Not during meditation. Not when I'm doing relaxation exercises with a group. Why? Fear? Paranoia? Anxiety? Okay, pick one.

That explains why I never slept in the hospital when my boys were born. The very thought of someone coming in when I was asleep was enough to sent me into a full blown panic attack!

Hospitals? Totally freak me out. The absolute worst combo there--germs and strangers wandering around. Did I mention I'm also a germaphobe? Yeah, I know. I'm the mom who carries antibacterial wipes EVERYWHERE and avoids public toilets if at all possible. And heaven forbid someone coughs or sneezes near me!! Or mentions they've had ___________(fill in with the latest bug going around)! That's enough to make me break out the germ killing spray!! I was accused of disinfecting my oldest child when anyone got too close. I did NOT! I just bathed him as soon as we got home. So there!

Yeah, I know, I know. I'm a little over the top. Okay, fine, a lot over the top! But (most of) those who know me, love me. Antibacterial wipes and all! Hey, I'm the one the rest of the group comes to for medicine and wipes when we're out in public!

And the most amusing part of this, I have three children, two of whom have asthma (not the funny part) and CANNOT TOLERATE MOST CLEANER SMELLS!!!!!! It's God's way of telling me to get a grip, isn't it?

Oh, and my three children are boys. Boys like dirt, creepy critters and the like. Scary stuff for a germaphobe! But I'm getting better. Really, I am. Yesterday, I picked up a turtle (with gloves on....me, not the turtle) and moved him out of harms way. As my kids would say, "Nah nah nah boo boo!"

Happy reading and blessings!

Worms & Turtles & Ants, Oh Boy!

Worms, turtles, ants and dirt! That's what little boys love! We played outside yesterday. The boys were fascinated with our turtle friend. He's taken up residence under out deck for now. He ventures out when we're inside, then slowly creeps under the deck when the boys get loud and busy, which little boys invariably do.

Yesterday, as we played ball and such, the boys kept wandering over to "check" on our friend. This involved sneaking up on the poor turtle and dropping leaves and small twigs on him. One of my twins kept getting closer....braver. Then, SNAP! The turtle had endured enough. He snapped at the stick my little guy was holding. The kiddo developed a healthy respect for our turtle friend.

Then, from across the yard, I hear, "Mom! There's an earthworm! Or maybe a baby snake!" (Shudder!)

I headed over and found an earthworm, moving sluggishly in the 90 degree heat. I carefully picked him up with a leaf, (Eek!) and deposited him in the damp leaves in the woods behind our house. Worm saved! And, thank goodness, no snake! Too hot for them to stir around, I guess.

A little later, I see all three boys poking a stick at something. I walk over and see them stirring up an ant bed. Sigh.

"Boys, stay out of the ants. They sting."

"Mom, you ALWAYS say that!"

Um, because I always mean it? Oh well, they'll learn. I did.

We saw no frogs. Perhaps, they'd heard about the boys in our yard? Or it was too hot? Anyway, I really didn't want to catch frogs, so I was far from disappointed.

The rest of the afternoon, we collected rocks and "arrowheads" and looked for dinosaur bones. Sadly, no dinosaur bones found. But we did find a couple of fossils and arrowhead-like rocks. Good times!

And in the middle of all the dirt and creepy critters, I heard, "Mom, you're the best! I love you!" Punctuated with muddy hugs and kisses, of course! In a few years, they'll be too cool for that, but for now, I'm loving it!

A blurb from my work in progress....

This is a very rough blurb from the middle of my work in progress.

The drive back took longer because of the load and because Kat didn't want to draw attention to herself. She drove down the road to her grandparent's house. Your house now. She drove past it to another road. She got out, unlocked the gate, pulled in and relocked it behind her. She drove without headlights to the entrance to a tunnel. She unlocked another gate and pulled inside. Once inside, she pulled farther down the road and turned on her headlights. Before long, she reached a steel door and stopped. She pressed a remote and the doors slid open to reveal an underground garage. She pulled the truck around and backed the trailer up to a raised platform. After she killed the motor, she jumped out and pressed the remote to close the steel door. Then she hopped up on the platform, entered a series of numbers on the keypad, and the door slid open to reveal the inside of the bunker. She opened the back of the trailer and began unloading boxes. The weight didn't bother her. She'd lifted weights at the gym to train for just this moment. It took hours, but the trailer was eventually empty and the guns from the truck were unloaded too. She walked through to the bunks and showers in the back of the bunker. She stripped, showered, threw on sweats and climbed into the bunk. She fell into a deep dreamless sleep, comfortable in the knowledge that she was safe, alone and had no need to worry about being discovered.

Friendship

I've been thinking about friendship lately. And as I was composing this blog, a writer friend posted something on his blog along the same lines. Funny how life works, isn't it?

It's odd, because my friends range in age from people in their 20's to people in their 90's. I've got friends who are devout Christians, agnostics and athiests. And I love each one of them for the things they bring to my life and allow me to bring to their lives. I have friends that have known and (mostly) loved me for years. I have friends that know my deepest fears, my heartbreaks, my mistakes, my short-comings; and they still love me. I have friends I've known for a short time, who feel like I've known them forever.

As I sit here and think back over the last 40 or so years, (yes, I'll be 50 this year, but shhhhh it's a secret) I am grateful. For the friends who've stuck by me through everything, God bless you. For the friends who've given me a kick in the behind when I needed it, God bless you. For those who make me laugh, cry, think, dream, hope, feel....thank you and God bless you. For the ones who listen to me moan and whine, God bless you.

I guess what I'm saying is, each and every one of my friends is in my heart. I'm not going to list names, because I'd forget someone and hurt feelings. Just know, if our paths have crossed, I'm grateful. God bless you.

Shoveling Snow

Today, my husband and I shoveled snow together.  Now, you may wonder why that's such a big deal.  Let me explain.

When we first married and before we had children, we lived in Mississippi and Virginia.  Neither of those places get much snow, so we never had to shovel snow.   Then we moved to Illinois.  Holy cow!  The first time it snowed, I freaked out.  I was born and raised in Mississippi.  Everything shut down when it snowed! 

We had small children when we moved to Illinois, so when there was shoveling to be done, either my dear husband did it or I did on the days my oldest was at daycare.  I'd put the twins, who were about 9 months old, in their highchairs, sit them in front of the window so I could see them and they could see me, and start shoveling.  If he was home, my husband would shovel the drive. 

When we moved to Missouri, my oldest was around 3, the twins were 18 months.  We took turns shoveling snow, because there was NO WAY we could leave them inside alone while we worked together on it.  This has been the practice for a while now.  The twins are now 7 and my older child is almost 9.  I shoveled snow for a while by myself this afternoon.  (I've been cooped up with a sick child since Tuesday and with all three boys and my husband since Thursday--shoveling snow is a treat!)  After I was out there for a while, my husband came out to take over.  The boys were all inside having "quiet time"--as quiet as they ever get, anyway. 

We continued to work together for a while, throwing snow at each other every now and then.  All of a sudden, I looked at him and asked if we'd ever done this before.  He thought about it and no, we hadn't.  We've been married over thirteen years and this is another first.  And it was fun.  (Not that I want to shovel snow again soon.)

Thanks for reading.  God bless!

Two Bottles of Water

Veteran's Day, after leaving a program at the elementary school, I had to run and pick up a few things. As I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed a man sitting on the ground with a "Need Work" sign. I said a quick prayer for him and kept going. As I shopped, my mind drifted back to him. I've seen him before downtown. He's always got a ready smile and a kind word.
When I went out to my van, I looked across the lot and saw him still sitting there with his dog. I looked in the back of the van and saw two bottles of water. The day had started heating up a little, despite the wind. I grabbed them and wondered if I should try to put together a few more dollars and pick up something he could eat. But unfortunately, at the end of the pay period I had enough budgeted for what I'd picked up and nothing more. So, I pulled the van closer to his resting place, got out and walked over to him. He looked at me and I asked if he wanted the water.
"It would certainly help" he said.
As I reached towards him, his dog started jumping around. I was worried he was going to knock the poor man over. The man smiled and calmed the dog.
"He's just excited to see you. He knows you have something in your hand and wants to know what it is."
He took the water and thanked me.
"God bless you" I said.
"He has" was his reply as he held the water up, smiling at me.
I went back to my van and turned to look at the man and his dog. He was sitting on the ground, pouring water in a bowl for the dog. Then he took a drink and carefully put the water bottle back in his backpack.
I never realized how beautiful a dirty, ragged homeless man could look until I saw the smile on his face. How blessed I was by his happiness and gratitude. How humbled by his life.

Pony-sized Pests

I opened our front door this afternoon to see if the mail carrier had left a package for me. I came face-to-face with the biggest critter I've seen in our yard since we moved in--not counting the deer. This grayish-brown critter sat and stared at me for what seemed like an eternity. Then he (or she) scurried UNDER the concrete slab that is at our front entry. OH MY MERCIFUL HEAVENS! I slammed the front door and told the boys not to open it. A few minutes later, I opened the door a crack. The critter was in the hole with his head poking out. I tried to coax it out while standing behind the closed and LOCKED storm door (just in case he's some kind of highly evolved critter). He taunted me with his beady little eyes. Nose twitching in a critterly fashion. He was laughing at me, I know it!

Armed with my cell phone and the phone book, I started making calls to rid myself of this evil monster. I called our pest control service first.

"Do you have any live traps to catch a huge badger/beaver/raccoon-without-the-mask/over-sized critter?" I asked.

"No, ma'am, we don't handle anything like that. Mice, moles, rats, we can do. Let me give you a number to call."

I call the number she gives me and discover that to catch this creature, which the man assures me is a harmless groundhog, will cost me $100 with no guarantee he'll be successful. Okay. I told the man I'll think about it and call back.

I then spent the next half hour calling my husband to tell him not to come in the front door when he gets home from work (Why? Because I don't want the over-sized groundhog to eat him.), and the neighbors in search of a live trap.

The last neighbor I called told me her son and husband had seen the critter and he was indeed a groundhog. Uh huh. And they saw him going under my house. Sigh. And no, they didn't have a live trap.

As a last and most brilliant resort, I phoned the conservation center in our area. No, they don't take care of things like that, "but call your area's conservationist". Okay, I thought I just did. I phoned the conservationist for our area and left a voicemail.

Tomorrow I'll make a call to a friend and hopefully her husband, whom I recently discovered has an interest in live capture and release of animals will be able to offer some advice, traps, help.

In the meantime, the huge badger/beaver/raccoon-without-the-mask/over-sized critter is taunting me through the storm door, laughing and telling his critter friends all about his reign of terror.




To be continued.......