When You Give Grace a Bead Reamer and Glue

When you give Grace a bead reamer, she'll need a bandage.
She'll trip on her way to get the bandage and knock over the permanent bond glue.
When she knocks over the glue, she'll bend down to pick it up and hit her head.
When she hits her head, she'll fall.
When she falls, she'll land in the glue.
When she lands in the glue, she'll stick to the floor.
When she sticks to the floor, she'll get angry and slam her hand down on her leg.
When she hits her leg, she'll forget she's holding the bead reamer until she sees the blood.
When she sees the blood, she'll remember she needs a bandage.

Lasers and Swordfights and Guns, Oh My!

Boys.  That's what this is about.  Little muddy, sticky, rock-collecting, snake-loving, sword-carrying, gunfight-imagining boys.  I am blessed to have three of them.  They're seldom quiet, seldom still, and one or more is always up to some sort of mischief. And just to let you know, I wouldn't trade them for the world. 

I'm amazed at the number of people who think that just because they role play fighting, that boys are "naturally violent".  Or preoccupied with guns and violence.  I haven't found that to be the case.  My boys also love to play boardgames, play cards, to crochet, to build, to read, to cook and a plethora of other things.  And two of my three LOVE babies.  And they're gentle and kind, caring and loving.  In fact, this year two of mine won awards at school for "Kindness and Compassion".

Do they fight?  Of course, and I hate to burst your bubble, but my sister and I fought, too. And we played with cap guns and cracked each other over the head with batons.  Do my boys fight other children?  Yes, to defend themselves.  We don't encourage physical violence, but we do encourage standing up for yourself.  Is that wrong?  I don't think so. 

My boys don't like to hear or see things that portray real violence.  The violence and death they see and hear about on television, radio or in the newspapers scares them.  They feel compassion towards people who are hurt or have lost a family member.  They don't understand why anyone would hurt another person for little or no reason. 

And yes, there is a time and place for that kind of play.  And several places are off-limits for that--school and church, to name a couple.  Otherwise, I smile and wish for earplugs when I hear the "pew, pew, pew" of imaginary laser fights.  Hey, I never said it doesn't get on my nerves, but so does the high-pitched squeal of a little girl playing with friends. 

Tween Years Come Early

My oldest child is 9. His age group is referred to as a "tween" in our church. Tweens are that mysterious group that are not children, but not quite teenagers. That "between" status that's so difficult for them (and us) to manage. They're too old for the mall play area and too young for the teen arcades. I personally think 9 is still a child, but I wouldn't let my son hear me say it.

The tween years, like everything else, seem to be surfacing earlier and earlier. My boys have had "girlfriends" since preschool. My oldest had the "birds and bees" talk at 5. One of our twins got in trouble for explaining to a little girl at school that "girls have boobs and boys don't". (And before you yell at me for teaching him a slang word, he knows the correct word.  Hell, I'm just glad the word 'penis' didn't end up in the conversation. I celebrate the little victories.)  Suffice it to say, this can be a little overwhelming to us parental types. I think my husband and I have managed okay so far. He says, "Ask your mom." And I give them answers. (Sorry, dear.)

I'm reading a couple of books right now. One is "How to Hug a Porcupine". It's aimed at those parents of tweens/preteens. And I'm finding much of it applies. 

He wants that independence, but still hangs on to the childish toys and rituals of his life. He wants to be left alone one minute and to sit in my lap the next. As confusing as it is for me, it's much more confusing for him. I'm not so old that I can't remember those days! (Now, what was I talking about?...)

He's got hormones surfacing, fears and questions about everything, and wants us near enough to help out, but not so near that we smother him. What a fine line we walk! One minute I'm the best, coolest Mom ever. The next, an embarrassment to the human race. (Note to self: call and apologize to Mom.)

My husband and I joke that, if people knew what they were getting into when they have children, and I mean what they're REALLY getting into, the human race would have ceased to exist long ago.  (Haters, don't send me nasty-grams, I love my children.  But let's be honest, they're NOT little bundles of sweetness and light ALL the time.)

I suppose we'll make it through this stage in one piece with a portion of sanity left. But I'm pretty sure it's gonna be one heck of a ride!

Thanks for reading!

A Fish Named Rover

The search for a pet has been an interesting one so far. The pet store employees have been so helpful with providing knowledge. For instance, did you know that corn snakes are very active and ball pythons make better pets? And when you feed snakes, you get frozen mice, put them in a bag, drop them in boiling water and heat them up until they are warm but not too hot? (Gross!) And that you shouldn't feed your snake in it's enclosure, because it might become cage aggressive? Cage aggressive means they'll strike at you when you put your hand in to pick them up. Now I don't know about you, but I couldn't have lived without all that information! And because I'm such a sweetheart, I shared with you!

We're looking at cats, too. (My preference.) So far, we've not had a lot of luck finding a good fit. They're either scared of everything, look sick, or are hellcats.

We've looked at lizards and turtles and other critters too. Yesterday, I bought a fish. Our fish is a blue and red male Betta that I've had my eye on for weeks. I brought him home and set up his little aquarium. He moves in today and is quite excited.

Bettas are interesting fish. You can only put one male in an aquarium. This might lead you to believe it's safe to put him in with a female. Not so much. Only when they're ready to breed and only until the deed is done. Then he goes back to solitary. Otherwise, he'll kill her. I read you can house them with some other fish, but only if they aren't as pretty as he is. What an ego these fish have! So, we have our solitary Betta. But I digress.

My boys came in from school and ran to see our newest family member. After homework and general chaos, we sat down for dinner. The topic of dinner conversation quickly turned to naming the Betta.

I'll spare you my husband's suggestion. Suffice it to say, he was less than enthusiastic after a day of travel. He just got back from a trip to Florida.

"Let's call him Betta!"

"No, Ninja!"

"I like Peter Jackson!"

"Okay, we'll call him Betta Ninja Fighter Peter Jackson Fishy!"

My children, ages 9 and 7, have no understanding of the "less is more" concept.

My response? "Let's name him Rover!"

They all looked at me as though I'd lost my mind. Perhaps I have.

So, while they argued over his name, Rover and I bonded. I entertained him with fish food pellets and he entertained me by viciously attacking them. I read that you can train them to eat from a little spoon. This could be interesting.

Thanks for reading!

Not Babies Any More

This was the first day of school for the trio. My oldest is a fourth grader and is much too cool for Mom. The twins are in second grade and decided that they no longer need Mom to walk them in either. I have to admit I got a little teary eyed at the thought of my babies being at that stage. But it's all a part of the process. I'd much rather have them be independent than to cry and cling to me. It shows that they're well-adjusted little people. (Sniff, sniff)

Then my mind wanders to the teachers that we entrust with our children. I pray that they all really love children. And that they aren't like a few people I knew in college who went into teaching for summers and Christmas vacations off. I pray they look at those eager little faces and use the authority they have to help guide and nurture them. And I hope the ones who are sharp and impatient realize what a responsibility they have, and that it softens them just a little.

Nothing is more precious than those little beings we bring into the world. So, when they say "Mom, I don't need you", we let them go. And we wait with open arms when they run back for that hug, that quick kiss, content that they are traveling along the road of life just as they should.

Thank you for reading.

Imagine That

I've always had a very vivid imagination. I was an only child until I was six. Then my sister came along and frankly, I wasn't thrilled about her. (Sorry, sis.) I eventually came around, but my imaginary friends, Johnny and Kathy kept me busy until then. I made my mom set a place for them at the table, which they shared because they were never separated. Those two got into the most trouble! I was an angel. Hey now, stop laughing! I really was! I never ate candy before dinner. That was Johnny and Kathy. And no, I didn't break that ashtray. They did! I would never do such a thing.

And all was well until my grandpa sat on them. (Sniff sniff) He and my grandma had come for a visit. At dinner, he sat down and I shrieked! He'd squashed Johnny and Kathy! They didn't die, but it was touch and go for a while. Grandpa apologized profusely, but Johnny and Kathy didn't come around much after that when my grandparents visited.

Johnny and Kathy moved on a few years later. They hadn't been the same since they were sat on. The trauma was just too much for them and they went to live with some other little girl. I received an imaginary letter telling me so.

When Betas Mate

My children want a pet. My oldest son wants a dog and a snake. Of course, he also wants a rat and a bearded dragon. Please excuse me while I go girlie for a minute....(ewwww, shudder, gross) I'm not really against a snake, but I'm not totally for it either. I don't want a constrictor, but a milk snake or corn snake would be okay. Maybe. The rat is a HELL no. The bearded dragon is a not-so-much. Although, I have to admit the bearded dragon is cute, in a lizardy --my blog, I can make up words if I want-- sort of way. The dog is okay as long as it's housebroken and doesn't destroy things. Uh huh, might as well dream big!

My middle child wants a cat and some fish. Those are pets I can live with, right? Sure, I like cats and fish are cool. He wanted a bird or a hamster, but I said no fowl or rodents. Those are firm rules. Which means the chick and duck he wants around Easter will be a no.

My baby wants a cat, a fish, a turtle and a horse. Um, well, where would we keep the horse? He thinks we could build an underground shelter, with a slide for the horse to get down to the shelter and an elaborate lift system using straps and helicopters to lift him up. Again, not so much. The turtle would be cool.

So, I take the boys to the pet store, one at a time. They ask tons of questions and the store clerks give them tons of answers. My middle child asks, "Why can't you put another fish in with a beta fish?" The clerk explains why (the male beta will kill another fish) and says the male will even kill a female, except when it's mating season. Of course, my kiddo wants to know what that means. Sigh. I explain that mating is what they do to have babies. He's cool with that answer. I should have known it wouldn't be that easy. We get home and he's telling the rest of the crew about beta fish. He says, "You can only put a boy and a girl in the same bowl when they're....um....oh yeah, getting married!" Stifling grins and giggles, my husband and I listen and make the appropriate comments.
We're still in the process of looking and discussing. All I know is I have to get pets I'm comfortable handling. Because you know who's going to end up taking care of it, right? We've (read I've) ruled out horses, rodents, spiders, boas, pythons, venomous snakes, birds, ferrets, and frogs. Other than that, I'm pretty cool with whatever they choose.

Planning on a visit to the shelter to look for kittens soon. Fingers crossed that we find one they all like. Then my poor husband will be the only one left to convince. He's not a cat person. He suggested we get a dog, a cat, a hamster, a snake, and a lizard. His idea is to put them in a room and see which one comes out. And NO, he's not serious! At least, I don't think he is...

Thanks for reading!