Friday, May 2, 2014

Get Involved--A Rant

After a month of daily posts, I've been trying to regroup and refocus. I've started and rejected several posts as I've searched for a topic. Last night, a topic occurred to me as I, once again, had to manage my son's behavior in public. 

He has ADHD, coupled with Oppositional Defiant Disorder. He manages to keep things together most of the time, but when he gets "spun up" it's not fun. 

We were in a group of boys when my oppositional child decided to have a meltdown. I was leading a group of four very active little boys and working on a couple of activities. My son decided things weren't going the way he wanted, so he started pushing the limits.  I calmly told him what he needed to do. More defiance. I repeated my instructions. He threw scissors. I warned him that his dad would come pick him up if he didn't pull himself together. His behavior escalated. 

I called his dad to pick him up and take him home. The rest of the group settled down fairly quickly. I kept it together but inside, I played the scene over and over. What could I have done differently? Did I do something to set him off?

After I got home and got my other two sons ready for bed, I couldn't stop thinking about the night. I played it over in my head dozens of times. In fact, I didn't sleep more than an hour all night. 

As I fought to get my son under control, no less than six other adults watched. None of the other parents or grandparents took the initiative to work with the other boys as I dealt with this child. Not one person was concerned enough to help in any way.  I wouldn't have wanted them to deal with my out of control child. That wouldn't have been fair to ask of anyone. But they weren't even interested enough in their own children to help. 

What in the name of goodness is wrong with people?!? Instead of playing games on their phones or chatting with other parents, GET INVOLVED in what your children are doing! You can't have them and ignore them. 

I've been accused of being over-involved or over-protective, but by all that's good and holy, at least I'M THERE!!

Rant over for now. 


  1. In the four years since my now 10-year-old niece came to live with us, I've become acquainted with the unhelpful, quick to criticize crowd. My niece has multiple diagnoses, including ODD, as well as many deep-seated fears that are frequently exacerbated by stories she reads at school. We dared to address this with teachers, counselors, and administrators at the school and encountered the over-protective charge. I'd better stop there. I'll be rooting for you, your son, and the whole family.

    1. Thank you for your comment. I'm rooting for you also. My suggestion for dealing with, shall we say, less than cooperative types in the education system; keep written records, follow up with EVERY meeting with a letter and/or email recapping the discussion. It will benefit you in the long run if there are ever any questions as to the quality of education your niece is receiving. I wish you the best!