Not Babies Any More

This was the first day of school for the trio. My oldest is a fourth grader and is much too cool for Mom. The twins are in second grade and decided that they no longer need Mom to walk them in either. I have to admit I got a little teary eyed at the thought of my babies being at that stage. But it's all a part of the process. I'd much rather have them be independent than to cry and cling to me. It shows that they're well-adjusted little people. (Sniff, sniff)

Then my mind wanders to the teachers that we entrust with our children. I pray that they all really love children. And that they aren't like a few people I knew in college who went into teaching for summers and Christmas vacations off. I pray they look at those eager little faces and use the authority they have to help guide and nurture them. And I hope the ones who are sharp and impatient realize what a responsibility they have, and that it softens them just a little.

Nothing is more precious than those little beings we bring into the world. So, when they say "Mom, I don't need you", we let them go. And we wait with open arms when they run back for that hug, that quick kiss, content that they are traveling along the road of life just as they should.

Thank you for reading.

Parenting Woes

This morning my 9 year old tells me about a new friend of his. This "friend", we'll call him Johnny (little Johnny always gets into trouble in stories), tells my kiddo he has a social media account. Sigh. I can feel myself gearing up for the fight. So, my kiddo says he thinks we should let him online to get a social media account.

He goes on to say, "And before you say I'm not old enough, all I have to do is lie about my age."

No. Nope. Uh uh. He did NOT just say that to me. I explained that we don't encourage or tolerate lying in this house. And that once you start lying, it's hard to stop.

He then tells me that "Johnny" said his friend posted a comment saying someone is a "f'ing 'tard." Damn, damn, damn. We have worked so hard to keep him from using words like that!

I went on to explain that 'tard is slang for retarded and that we NEVER use that word. It's hurtful, ignorant and inexcusable. And I know you're probably wondering why I didn't address the f-bomb. He knows it's not okay to say, he even said so before he quoted "Johnny".

Now I'm faced with that age-old parental dilemma of REALLY disliking this new friend and knowing if I say so, he'll stick like glue. My plan? I'm going to get to know this child (he's a recent addition to a group my kiddo belongs to) and perhaps I can minimize the damage.

In the meantime, I'll watch closely, be glad he confides in me and pray he loses interest in this new friend SOON!!

And the social media fight was nipped in the bud quickly after the f-bomb and the "r" word. If we're doing this now, what in the world will happen during his teen years?!

P.S. Mom, I'm really sorry for my friends you didn't like. I know why now.

Dad

My dad is one of the strongest men I've ever known. As a young child I remember following him around like a shadow. He hunted and fished and I loved to "help" him dress dove ("peel birds" ) and was fascinated with touching fish. I thought the eyes were especially cool. (ick!) As I got older, he taught me how to do minor repairs on the car and the house.

He and I also share a love for woodworking. We made countless things together. I still have some of the first pieces he made. I developed that talent and for years I worked on dollhouses, both from kits and from "scratch". Each time I made a cut or painted a wall, I thought of Dad.

As a teenager, I struggled with independence, finding my place in the world and succeeded in driving my parents crazy. I wasn't a lot better as a young adult, but we made it through. Dad has always been protective of his girls, but the older I get the more I realize it's because of his love for us.

When I got married and moved away from family, I was grateful for all I learned from my parents. And as a mom, I realize how hard it is to let go. As your children grow, you have to let them learn to crawl, walk, and climb. And it never stops. You want to keep them from being hurt, from making mistakes. But that wouldn't teach them anything. By our mistakes, we learn and grow.

Now my dad is facing some serious health problems. And I want him to know how much I love and respect him. A part of that love involves understanding his pain and subsequent choices he is struggling with. The little girl in me wants to tell him to keep fighting and NEVER give up. But the adult daughter knows when my dad talks about the pain he feels and how his quality of life is suffering, that I cannot ask him to do anything for me. I love my dad enough to respect his decisions, whatever they may be. And I cherish him for the man he was then and the man he is now. Whatever his decision, it will be one he has thought about, prayed about.

I find wanting to help but knowing I can't. As he once did with me, I have to let go. I have to trust in my dad's ability to decide what he needs. I have to trust in God to lead him in his decisions. I pray for him daily, several times a day.

I owe my dad a thank you. A thank you for everything he has done and continues to do. He has such a strength of character, such a love of life. He taught me so much as I grew up. He continues to do so. I understand those life-lessons he taught me. I want to teach my boys those lessons. I only hope I can do half as well as he has and still does.

We may not live close to each other, but he IS here with me. I carry him in my heart, always.

(Copyright 2010, Linda Rosendale)