My "Kryptonite"

I've spent the last few weeks...months...in a writing slump. I was not quite sure what was/is going on, but I think I have part of it figured out. 

The last few months have been crazy hectic. When I wasn't being pulled in fifty directions, I was too exhausted to move. Yes, I know I'm a parent and that's part of it. Yes, I know I'm lucky  that I'm a stay-at-home-mom (although, contrary to popular belief, that IS a full-time job). 

Here is my revelation. Are you ready? My inability to stop people-pleasing is my nemesis. Yep, it's the fly in the ointment. And then there's the guilt; I say "no" and that guilt gene kicks in. Let me tell you, that freaking guilt gene is relentless! It keeps hammering away until you're ready to agree to any and everything! 

If you're a parent, you know your children are fantastic, gifted even, at triggering that gene. And don't get me started on the spousal ability--sorry honey, intentional or not, it happens. 

Who has the ability to control this? The simple answer is, me. The more complex answer? Still me. I can continue to allow the busyness to take over or I can stop and breathe. It's a choice. 

I choose to breathe.

Ribbons And Buttons And Beads, Oh Yeah!

I, the grand poobah of the castle, her majesty of the domicile have declared that no child is allowed to purchase a new toy without donating a toy to charity (or selling said toy). In the spirit of "setting a good example" and being a "positive role model", I started cleaning up my "toys" (AKA crafting supplies, notebooks, etc) and have realized I need to evaluate my supply. 

I have this unique (and by unique, I mean completely common) problem. I hoard crafting supplies. I cannot pass by a clearance rack of, oh let's say ribbon, (hideously horrific ribbon the color of runny yellow baby poop--you parents out there know what I mean). ANYway, if I see the clearance sign on RBPY (runny baby poop yellow) ribbon, my mind churns. This would make a lovely gift for Aunt Lucy's second cousin's brother's girlfriend's pet armadillo! (Hey, work with me people!) So, I buy all 45 cases of the stuff; envisioning all the ooo's and ah's that will occur when the glorious gift is opened. 

I get home and realize what a find this was! There are so many more things I could make with the RBPY ribbon! Perhaps I'll start a RBPY fashion line for armadillos! And make matching assessories for the owners of said armadillos! I'll be the RBPY Armadillo Assessory Queen! Her Majesty of the....Um, yeah, well...(clears throat and smiles maniacally).

So I'm on a mission to organize the craft kingdom. (Queen of the Kingdom of Crafts...has a nice ring, eh?) I'm happy to say I can now see small spaces of floor and that no one will be buried under mountains of craft supplies when walking through the room. My new rule for me? No craft supplies in until one bin is out. (Unless I happen to find a killer sale on RBPY ribbon! I mean, think of all the armadillos I can make happy!)

Love, peace and laughter!

If You Give Grace a Bead Reamer and Glue

If you give Grace a bead reamer, she'll need a bandage.
She'll trip on her way to get the bandage and knock over the permanent bond glue.
When she knocks over the glue, she'll bend down to pick it up and hit her head.
When she hits her head, she'll fall.
When she falls, she'll land in the glue.
When she lands in the glue, she'll stick to the floor.
When she sticks to the floor, she'll get angry and slam her hand down on her leg.
When she hits her leg, she'll forget she's holding the bead reamer until she sees the blood.
When she sees the blood, she'll remember she needs a bandage.

Reflections

Hello, friends! I've had a few people ask if this new "positive messages posting" of mine (on social media) is something they should be worried about. Here is my response:

1) My snarky, sarcastic side is still very much a part of me--give me time. (Evil laugh here)

2) I'm not ill and trying to pave the road to heaven with good deeds. (Snarkity snark)

3) I'm not turning into a Pollyanna whose every thought is a"glass half full" kind of thought. Let's face it, sometimes there's not enough sugar in the world to turn those lemons into lemonade. 

4) I'm trying to "accentuate the positive; eliminate the negative", as the saying goes. (Something like that, anyway.)

5) I cannot change anyone else, but I can change my reactions to them. 

6) I want peace; peace of mind, peace of heart, peace of soul. 

7) I will feel angry, unhappy, discouraged; and I may post that.  But I will not let those feelings define who I am. And if I do, CALL ME ON IT!

8) I won't let anyone else pull me into his/her drama. We've all got drama going on in our lives, but I can choose to be angry and upset, or I can be happy. I choose happiness. 

My wish for each one of you is abundant joy, peace, and love. You can't find that from another person, place or thing. You can only find that abundance of goodness within your own heart and soul. 

God bless. 

The Muse Has Been Silent

I've not written anything since the end of November. Nothing. Nada. Zero. Unless you count posts on social media, or editing a line or two of a school report my oldest child wrote; and I don't. 

My blog has been as silent as an old ghost town in a black and white western.My characters have been as quiet as little mice. I've been too tired, sick, busy, blah blah blah. 

I've read about writing and blogging, discussed writing in online groups, and critiqued work for others. I've listened to ideas and storylines, even had one or two pop up in my head. But no writing. 

The past couple of days, I've thought about the "whys" and the "hows" of this dry spell. I've come to a conclusion. There's no real reason I haven't written anything, other than a complete and utter lack of desire to do so. 

Does this mean I can't write? Nope. Does this mean I'm not a "real" writer/blogger/author? Not at all. What does it mean? For me, it means I just needed to pull back and regroup. I needed to give myself permission to be human, with all the doubts and weaknesses. 

What now? Well, I wrote this post. And there's a small idea bouncing around my in my head. I'm good with that. Should I be okay with that? I don't know, but I am. 

Just Breathe

My decision to be more kind to myself is in full force. I'm saying  "No!" quite often and feeling much better because of it.
Stress almost did me in last school year. I had completely overextended myself, and then, in typical "Southern girl" mentality, felt too guilty to back out. All of that resulted in resentment and anger sucking the joy out of everything; and in stress-related illnesses.
I've made a few--okay, a lot--of people angry by saying no. Those who know me well and understand, are okay with it. Most people are just shocked. The ones who are angry can get over it. Or not. (Do you know how hard that is to say for a people pleaser?!)
I'm no longer leading or assisting with after school activities; not allowing my children to join every club that comes along; no volunteering my time, nor being drafted. No is such a fabulous word! I only wish I'd used it more often in the past.
Of course, we're still involved in Scouts, choir, orchestra and church groups. But I'm mom this year; not den leader, teacher, organizer. It feels great!  My boys are my focus in the activities they're pursuing; and they love it.
I'm a mother, a wife, a writer; and the only way I can do those jobs is to take care of myself. A friend recently made a statement that stuck with me.
"These young families are so busy running from one activity to another.  Slow down and breathe. Enjoy being together, not rushing from one activity to another."
Just breathe.  I can do that.

I'm Still Around!

I apologize for being so lax about my posts. I could give you a list of excuses why I haven't blogged recently, but it would be just that--excuses. (I'll wait while you berate me...Done? Good)

I'm working on a secret project of my own (are you intrigued?)and still trying to finish my WIP; plus my children are involved in no less than 50,000 or so activities this year. Okay, so that's a slight exaggeration, but only a slight one. 

I'm also blogging for Motherhood Later. It's a fantastic website and they've  been generous enough to allow me to post on the site. Here's a little about the site:

"Did you become a mother, for the first time or again, at age 35?MotherhoodLater.com is here for you – they offer community, free Baby Bloomer newsletter, blog, get togethers and  giveaways.  https://www.facebook.com/MotherhoodLater  They welcome your participation, accept guest blog posts and want to hear your later mom stories."

And because I don't have enough to keep me busy, (maniacal laughter), I'm working on a horror anthology with three other talented authors: S.G.Lee, V.J. Prucha, and Jackie Lycke. Let me give you an introduction to them now. 

S.G. has a blog showcasing the many works of horror produced by that incredible mind! If you want nightmares, head on over to http://sglee.blogspot.com. I guarantee you won't be disappointed! 

S.G. also has had work published. Check out http://smarturl.it/athellsgates for an anthology whose proceeds go to a worthy cause; and Journal of the Undead series amazon.com/author/sg_lee. S.G. can be found on Twitter and Facebook, as well. The links are @sg_lee_horror and https://www.facebook.com/sg.leehorror

V. J. has written a wonderful thriller. I bought it and finished it a couple of days. She kept me on the edge of my seat!  The book is "My Soul to Keep" and is available on her website www.vjppublishingllc.com and through Amazon. She's also a very talented artist and you can find her at Etsy now under VJPArt. She's also on Facebook and Twitter. Her information for those is: http://www.facebook.com/vjprucha and @valerieprucha. 

Jackie writes romance and does some fantastic book review--without spoilers! She can be found on Twitter, Facebook and her book review blog at travelthroughthepages.blogspot.com.  Her Facebook page link and Twitter handle are: @jackielycke and https://www.facebook.com/pages/Have-Book-Will-Travel. Jackie is always busy! She works her day job and writes in what little spare time she has. I wish I had as much energy as she has! And she can write fantastic horror! She scares me silly! 

I hope you enjoy perusing the sites I've mentioned. I'm honored to be associated with them all. In the meantime, check back in and say hello! Thanks for reading!