Just Breathe

My decision to be more kind to myself is in full force. I'm saying  "No!" quite often and feeling much better because of it.
Stress almost did me in last school year. I had completely overextended myself, and then, in typical "Southern girl" mentality, felt too guilty to back out. All of that resulted in resentment and anger sucking the joy out of everything; and in stress-related illnesses.
I've made a few--okay, a lot--of people angry by saying no. Those who know me well and understand, are okay with it. Most people are just shocked. The ones who are angry can get over it. Or not. (Do you know how hard that is to say for a people pleaser?!)
I'm no longer leading or assisting with after school activities; not allowing my children to join every club that comes along; no volunteering my time, nor being drafted. No is such a fabulous word! I only wish I'd used it more often in the past.
Of course, we're still involved in Scouts, choir, orchestra and church groups. But I'm mom this year; not den leader, teacher, organizer. It feels great!  My boys are my focus in the activities they're pursuing; and they love it.
I'm a mother, a wife, a writer; and the only way I can do those jobs is to take care of myself. A friend recently made a statement that stuck with me.
"These young families are so busy running from one activity to another.  Slow down and breathe. Enjoy being together, not rushing from one activity to another."
Just breathe.  I can do that.

I'm Still Around!

I apologize for being so lax about my posts. I could give you a list of excuses why I haven't blogged recently, but it would be just that--excuses. (I'll wait while you berate me...Done? Good)

I'm working on a secret project of my own (are you intrigued?)and still trying to finish my WIP; plus my children are involved in no less than 50,000 or so activities this year. Okay, so that's a slight exaggeration, but only a slight one. 

I'm also blogging for Motherhood Later. It's a fantastic website and they've  been generous enough to allow me to post on the site. Here's a little about the site:

"Did you become a mother, for the first time or again, at age 35?MotherhoodLater.com is here for you – they offer community, free Baby Bloomer newsletter, blog, get togethers and  giveaways.  https://www.facebook.com/MotherhoodLater  They welcome your participation, accept guest blog posts and want to hear your later mom stories."

And because I don't have enough to keep me busy, (maniacal laughter), I'm working on a horror anthology with three other talented authors: S.G.Lee, V.J. Prucha, and Jackie Lycke. Let me give you an introduction to them now. 

S.G. has a blog showcasing the many works of horror produced by that incredible mind! If you want nightmares, head on over to http://sglee.blogspot.com. I guarantee you won't be disappointed! 

S.G. also has had work published. Check out http://smarturl.it/athellsgates for an anthology whose proceeds go to a worthy cause; and Journal of the Undead series amazon.com/author/sg_lee. S.G. can be found on Twitter and Facebook, as well. The links are @sg_lee_horror and https://www.facebook.com/sg.leehorror

V. J. has written a wonderful thriller. I bought it and finished it a couple of days. She kept me on the edge of my seat!  The book is "My Soul to Keep" and is available on her website www.vjppublishingllc.com and through Amazon. She's also a very talented artist and you can find her at Etsy now under VJPArt. She's also on Facebook and Twitter. Her information for those is: http://www.facebook.com/vjprucha and @valerieprucha. 

Jackie writes romance and does some fantastic book review--without spoilers! She can be found on Twitter, Facebook and her book review blog at travelthroughthepages.blogspot.com.  Her Facebook page link and Twitter handle are: @jackielycke and https://www.facebook.com/pages/Have-Book-Will-Travel. Jackie is always busy! She works her day job and writes in what little spare time she has. I wish I had as much energy as she has! And she can write fantastic horror! She scares me silly! 

I hope you enjoy perusing the sites I've mentioned. I'm honored to be associated with them all. In the meantime, check back in and say hello! Thanks for reading!

Vacation

We took our boys on vacation for a week.  I was told by a friend that if you are exhausted when you get back, that's the sign of a great vacation! In that case, we had one HELL of a great vacation!  Let me start by saying, one of my twins has NEVER travelled well.  Never.  Not as an infant, a toddler, nor as an eight year old.  Five minutes into ANY trip, whether an hour away or ten minutes down the road, he is asking, "Can you find our house?  Are we still near home? How much longer will it be?"

Our destination should have taken about two hours to reach, give or take a half hour.  We went the weekend of July 4th.  I know, not the brightest decision.  We sat in traffic at every highway junction we crossed.  Bumper to freaking bumper, with idiots who drove over medians, cut into traffic and generally made things more chaotic.  All three boys were restless, but my little homebody was beyond over it.  "Daddy, what's wrong? Mommy, are we almost there? Daddy, if that man can drive in the grass, why can't we?" Oh, and did I mention that our minivan was packed to the top with various and sundry crap that we had to take?  Argh!

We made it to our destination and stopped at a pizza place who's known for a giant rodent mascot and games.  It was the first time we'd ever been there. I took extra headache medicine, because even though I have a large group of small children living with me, I'm not overly fond of places frequented by large groups of children hyped up on soda and parents who decide to let them run wild.  And yes, I know such places are made for children to run wild, but...

Anyway, I ended up having a blast at the restaurant and enjoyed playing games almost as much as my husband and kids did.  After a couple or three hours, we left and went to our hotel to check in.  Thank God, some brilliant soul decided to put us on the first floor.  We'd gotten two rooms because our boys are big enough that we need the extra space.  After we checked in and got everyone settled down, it was time for showers and bed. 

We went sightseeing for a couple of days, and to a science center.  The boys liked it, but they were holding out for the big one.  We took them to Six Flags; two days at Six Flags.  Taking my boys to any sort of amusement park is an adventure.  Two of my three children under eleven enjoy riding roller coasters and that kind of thing.  My oldest child of forty-something is a thrill ride nut;  the higher, the faster, the better. My other child under eleven gets bored quickly.  He can entertain himself for hours at home, but go anywhere and expect him to do the same and NOPE! 

Day one at Six Flags was for the water park.  We played in the wave pool, went on a lazy ride on inner tubes, watched the boys play in one of the areas designed for children only.  My husband and one of the twins disappeared to ride a couple of rides. 

All-in-all, a good day. Minus the time my husband disappeared with one of the twins for about an hour and I had to send my other two to the bathroom by themselves because they wouldn't let me take them in the women's restroom. (How's THAT for a run-on sentence?!) I stood right outside the restroom yelling, "Don't talk to anybody, if anyone looks at you yell, don't leave each other alone, and get right back out here as soon as you can!"  And for those who dare call me overprotective, I wasn't the only mom of boys doing that. 

Day two at Six Flags was for the rest of the amusement park and the rides. One of my sons and I were waiting for the others--my husband and other two sons--to get done riding roller coasters and other such fun (read HELL no, we hate them!) rides. We were playing some of the skills games. The first was a water pistol one. You shoot at the target and win a cape. EVERYBODY wins! (My kind of game!). I said I wanted a Batman cape.

 "Batman? What about BatGIRL instead? You know, since you're a GIRL?" the young man asked.

I stared at him a minute. "I'm not a GIRL, and I SAID I want BATMAN!"

He gave me my cape. Then I skipped around the amusement park with my son singing, "Nah-nah, nah-nah, nah-nah, nah-nah, Batman!"

Then we see...da, da, dumm! A video arcade! We go in because, well, it's a video arcade and my eight year old is in heaven on earth. He immediately finds the token machine for me. So helpful, isn't he?  We (the royal we) purchase tokens and I give him a handful. He finds a shooting game in a matter of nanoseconds. It gives no tickets for reward. The reward is killing off massive amounts of horrendously frightening robotic skeleton creature thingies. Whee. But whatever. 

I wander over to a game that lights up and sounds like a casino game. Woohoo! Some 20 minutes later, the rest of the boys find us in the arcade. I have a fistful of tickets and tokens, and am grinning like a fool. Life is good. 

Then we decide to head towards yet another thrill ride. This one is close to the kiddie rides. My partner-in-crime is beyond excited. We head over to the kiddie rides while the hubby and his two thrill seekers get in line for more upside-down, faster than the speed of light, puke-fest fun! 

I dutifully stand by, waiting for my little guy to get on one ride after another. He even helps calm down a couple of younger kids. (Go ahead, ooo and ahh--you know you want to! Are you done yet?) Next year he will be way too tall for any of the rides.  (Mom moment here--my baby's growing up.)

The other three join us in a while and three of the four run from kiddie ride to kiddie ride. My big boy, the hubby, was a too tall for these rides. He was a little disappointed, if you ask me. 

By the end of the day, we were dead tired.  We ate dinner and got everyone ready for bed.  Nobody protested.  The next two days we spent sightseeing and lazing by the pool.  The boys were ready for some down time and didn't complain much.

We decided to head back a day early so that we could rest before my husband went back to work on Monday.  We were even more jammed in the van on the way home, but thankfully the drive was much less chaotic and stressful. We asked the boys what their favorite parts of the vacation were.  The answer?  ALL OF IT!  That makes it all worthwhile. 

Thanks for reading!

A Typical Summer Morning

4:00 A.M. My husband's alarm STARTS ringing. Every 15 minutes thereafter, it rings and he hits snooze. 

I should buy a sledgehammer. 

5:30 A.M. My twins are "quietly" talking and doing construction in their room. 

I really love my kids. 

I should buy melatonin. 

6:00 A.M. "Mom, Mom, Mom, he won't give me the remote!"

"He's lying! It's MY turn! Mom, Mom, are you even listening?!"

I have one eye partially open watching the coffee pot. I should buy earplugs. 

6:30 A.M. My oldest child wakes up, slams into my chair, causes my coffee to spill in my lap. "Sorry, Mom."

"Yeow!"

I should buy burn cream.

6:45 A.M. "You boys need to have breakfast and take your medicine."

Silence and no movement. 

"And what do you want?"

Silence. 

I hate these cartoons and video games. 

I should disconnect cable. 

7:00 A.M. "What do you want for breakfast because we need to take medicine and if you don't eat you are not going to have your medicine on time and then I have to deal with you bouncing off the walls and I really do not want to do that and OUCH who left the Legos on the floor?!?"

I should buy steel toed boots. 

7:30 A.M. Finally, the boys are eating breakfast! 

"Mom! He looked at me, really he did, he looked right at me and made a face."

"Mom. Mom. Mom. He pointed at me with the BAD finger! MOM!"

"Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it now!!"

I should buy wine.  

8:00 A.M. "I'm going to get a shower. Do NOT: open the door, stand on the furniture, stand on each other, jump on or off the furniture, jump on or off each other, touch each other; hit, kick, look at, breathe on, or point at each other."

"What Mom?"

Arrrrrgghh!

I should buy a case of wine. 

8:15 A.M. I step out of the shower, with shampoo dripping in my eyes, grab a towel and clutch it around me as I run to investigate the screams and crashes coming from the family room. 

I should get rid of the furniture and pad the walls. 

8:20 Shampoo has dried in my hair and my eyesight has been permanently damaged from the shampoo. 

I should buy dry shampoo. And call the eye doctor. 

8:30 I get the boys dressed, tell them to get in the van. We have to go to the bank, grocery store and to pay the water bill. They fight all the way to the bank. The bank is 10 minutes from my house. 

I need a soundproof glass behind the front seat...or earplugs. I need to call the car dealership. 

9:00 Bank trip done, bill paid. Next stop, grocery store. I remind the boys that we're on a budget and must stick to the list. 

Add a case of wine to the list. 

10:00 No less than three dozen fights separated in the grocery store, a cart full of groceries and one exhausted mom later; shopping done. 

When did I put ten boxes of cookies in the cart?! Ah, there's the wine!

11:00 Groceries put away, children ready for lunch and quiet time. 

I forgot to buy the earplugs. But I've got wine!

Embrace the Weirdness

"Mom, I'm weird." I cringed when I heard my son say these words.

"Don't say that!"

"Oh no, Mom, I'm okay with being weird. It means I'm not just like everyone else."

Wow. What insight for a ten year old! And the more I think about it, the more I agree. Who wants to be a carbon copy of everyone else? Okay, a lot of people do. It's what we spend hours doing every day, isn't it? Trying to conform, to be like our friends when we're young.  Sometimes even when we're not-so-young.

What a bold statement, a brave one. I'm pretty sure he won't always feel that way. But I hope it doesn't take him as long as it has me to truly embrace being "different", "odd", "peculiar", "not like us"; all words I've heard used to describe me.

In the words of Dr Seuss:

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You." (From "Happy Birthday to YOU")

 

Phone Call From Heaven

A few months after my dad passed away, I was home alone; the hubby had gone to work and the kids were at school. I was having a hard time adjusting to Dad's death and it was having an effect on my sleep. On that particular day, I decided to take a nap. 

The phone rang and I answered it, half asleep. Anyone who knows me, knows I don't function well when I first wake up. 

The man on the other end of the line said, "Hi! How're you doing?"

I looked at the caller ID and saw my dad's name and number. I was surprised, to say the least!  

I asked, "What phone are you calling from?"

"My cell."

"Do they let you have cell phones there?"

I asked. 

"Yes...are you okay?" he asked. 

"Well, no! I miss you!"

"I'll be home soon!" he said. 

"Okay, Dad, you're dead!  You can't come home!" I said. 

There was a long pause. Then he said,"Honey, it's me. Your husband."

I never found out why the number showed up incorrectly, but maybe, just maybe it was my dad's last practical joke.  :-) 

Ants In My Bra

I had my photograph taken today, since I'm in dire need of a headshot. I normally avoid cameras like the plague, but...

I'd posted on my personal page that I was looking for someone to take my picture and a good friend was kind enough to offer to take it. 

We agreed on the details and met at the location. Unfortunately, there was a wedding scheduled at the gardens we'd planned to use. We improvised, because as moms that's what we do. 

We walked around the state Capitol and took a few shots. The longer we walked around, the more amusing it became. We were looking for the perfect spot. 

My eyes are really sensitive to the sun, so I squint quite a bit. That proved to be a problem since today is sunny and hot. I'm also very sensitive to camera flashes. (Are you feeling the photographer's pain yet?) Luckily, she's a mom of four, so...

We got quite a few good pictures. One of the best was of me peering through tree limbs. I had to kind of hug the tree and put my face through a split in the trunk. (Why can't I describe this?) We checked the tree first to be sure there were no ants. Or at least, we thought we did. 

As I was posing, I looked down and saw ants on the tree. After the shot, I jumped back. We decided we needed a couple more by the tree. That time the ants were really starting to move. We finished up in that spot and I joked about ants in my shirt. 

We took a few more shots, chatted a while, then went our separate ways. As I was driving home, I looked down and saw an ant on my shirt. I grabbed it and threw it out the window. When I got home, I found another one in my bra. 

Having your photograph taken can be quite interesting.